Back in a Bit

Dented

Posted: 19 October 2000 at 00:10
Tags: humour

That piano got sold, then. Also, K10k is on the receiving end of a fine piss-take.

The Messiah’s new clothes

Posted: 18 October 2000 at 04:44
Tags: humour; religion

Continuing with the Jesus theme, you now have the opportunity of dressing him courtesy or “normal” Bob Smith. The fun never stops—and neither do the complaints. Also on the web today, it feels good to welcome back K10k, who have been off work with server death for what seems like an age.

Today, this site passed the two million hits mark. I would like to thank you all for stopping by, and a special thank you to all those who have taken the time to get in touch with me. If nothing else, I’ve made a lot of friends out of this project. I hope that you’ll keep stopping by, and I also hope that I keep finding the time to make the odd improvement here and there. You’ll hear it here first.

Bullshit-O-Matic

Posted: 12 October 2000 at 22:00
Tags: humour

This is cool: the Web Economy Bullshit Generator. It allows you to get involved in all of those ludicrous meetings with design agencies and marketeers, though I fear it may render a whole generation of such people redundant.

Follow

Posted: 11 October 2000 at 17:06
Tags: humour; religion

This amused me—what a difference a URL makes: check out jesus.com and jesus.net. One grabbed my attention, the other didn’t. Sadly, the one intended to grab my attention and change my life was the miserable failure.

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In Brief

The Charlian, the world's leading liberal voice » as long as that voice is Charlie Brooker
Comic vs Audience: Things to Say During Sex » Part-flowchart, part-venn diagram, this is one of those things you can stare at for five minutes, finding new chuckles all the while. "Bad -> Dirty -> Not Sexy Threats -> I'm going to pound the farts out of you".
YouTube: Chimpanzee rides Segway » Spectacular. In evolutionary terms, they're really not that far behind us. They may even be catching up...
Give Up and Use Tables » We've scientifically determined the maximum amount of time that you should need to make a layout work in CSS: it's 47 minutes. When your time is up, we'll even give you the table code you need. Take three minutes to build a table. And ten minutes to get a donut. Bill the client for an hour. Done.
Deputy Dog: urban knitting - the world's most inoffensive graffiti » There's a new form of graffiti in town, and it's so pleasant that i can't imagine even the harshest critics of regular graffiti getting wound up. I mean, who in their right mind would come face to face with a sweater-wearing tree and do anything but smile?
BBC News: E-mail error ends up on road sign » When officials asked for the Welsh translation of a road sign, they thought the reply was what they needed. Unfortunately, the e-mail response to Swansea council said in Welsh: "I am not in the office at the moment. Send any work to be translated".
Distruction for Dummies: Quote of the week » It's like a nuclear weapon - the most important fact is that you have one, so actually using one is silly (because then you no longer have one, and you've pissed someone off very badly)
Scaryduck: On long lunch breaks » Could you hand this piece of paper to the cashier?
Break: Chicks like a stocked fridge » Highly NSFW, but funny as fuck
Scaryduck: On phishing » You'll note - sadly - the UK-based phone number. We've got SO much to learn from Nigeria.
Diamond Geezer: Further necessary additions to the tube map » "Ealing Broadway: Anagram of Railway Bondage"
Sam Potts Inc: how to land a 747 » 1. Get on the radio, and tell whoever's listening that you are landing a 747.
Cake Wrecks: Any Occasion Will Do » After all, how often do you get to congratulate someone on "completeing" their jail sentence?
YouTube: Ben Bernanke » I'm a magician, Spencer. A furious magician.
GraphJam: Things I use my company BlackBerry for » BrickBreaker
Compact Muon Solenoid Experiment Webcams » the end is nigh
buffalog: maybe i should have given him some bling? » drawergeeks topic today is the yeti (aka: the abominable snow man).
The Man In Blue: Smalltalk with a Web Designer » Oh! I've got this problem with my email...
BBC News: Teenager is bitten by dog in park » A 16-year-old boy was bitten by a dog in a park in Northampton. He was with a friend in Semilong Park, near Spencer Bridge Road, when the dog ran up to him and started barking before biting the boy as he moved away.
Nothing To See Here: The Robot Building, Bangkok » For all that it looks like an elaborate joke, every robotic aspect is well-planned and well-used. His eyes are the dining and meeting rooms of the executive suites, his eyelids are sunshades, his antennae are lightning rods. His nuts were the biggest in the world at time of development.
YouTube: Cuica Solo » I adore this instrument, but from this video you'd never know why.
Wikipedia: List of problems solved by MacGyver » MacGyver was unlike secret agents in other television series and films because he carried only a Swiss Army knife and duct tape, instead of relying on high-tech weapons and tools.
YouTube: Cravendale Last Glass TV Advert » "MIIIIILK!" This ad makes me cackle
YouTube: damp cat » yay!
Sorry I Missed Your Party » Pictures of other people's parties from Flickr. Genius.
Flickr: The Billboard Backgrounds Pool »
The software development tree » old, but good
Flickr: Do NOT Turn Jesus On » Not sure who designed this, but I'm pretty confident they didn't mean to make it look as if Jesus was showing his manhood to two children!
YouTube: MC Miker G and DJ Sven - Holiday Rap (BBC 1986) » Goes right through terrible and out the other side. Thanks Bint.
Mobile Today: Vodafone staff distressed by dead badger » Staff were angered by the local council this morning, because it refused to remove a dead badger from the road leading to the Vodafone offices.
YouTube: Survivor Destinys Child on Ukulele » Good fun, and well done
Outbreak: Messing up the interface » Great example about how a simple web form can become massive the more company departments are involved.
Washington News: Couple hit by falling cow » A Michigan couple is lucky to be alive after their minivan was hit by a falling cow on Sunday
The Top 10 Rap Songs White People Love » Sometimes there's also corresponding stupid dance move.
The 8 Most Needlessly Detailed Wikipedia Entries » Nowhere is humanity's obsession with the inconsequential more obvious than on Wikipedia, where even the most obscure topics get propped up on enormous blocks of text

Live Blogroll

gilest-all » History of the Internet on Vimeo
LinkMachineGo » Interview with Matt Fraction
:: Funjunkie :: » Dog Fight
diamond geezer » Take A View
Info Overload ~ All Posts » Hardest button to button
Scaryduck: Not Scary. Not a Duck. » On stuff that is EXACTLY 98.9 per cent of truth
Infovore » links for January 6th
precious forever » Malfunction Mosaic
bitful » Must limbs go too?
Jeffrey Zeldman Presents The Daily Report » Jason Has Left the Building
Technovia » Apple announces MacBook Wheel
Reform & Revolution / R² » kipi ka popo
An Unreliable Witness » The drone of productivity
feeling listless » Lovefilm Fail.
little.red.boat » Trolleyed

The views of the author do not necessarily reflect those of anyone else. In fact, if you give it a couple of weeks, they probably won't even reflect the views of the author.

Published under the delectably-titled Attribution-Non-Commercial-Share Alike 2.0 UK: England & Wales Licence, which can also be used as a powerful sedative.

Now, what else is on? Nurse!