Things to do on a train, revisited

Posted
19 October 2008 at 17:51
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A title that amuses the author in at least three different ways simply isn’t enough: convention dictates that a weblog should have a subtitle. A number of publishing applications, notably WordPress, have functionality to allow, even encourage, the use of a subtitle. Prospective authors would do well to note the default subtitle, “Just another WordPress weblog”, with foreboding: for never a truer statement will likely fill this line.

Here, the use of a subtitle has been played down but, when one was required, I went with “a sporadic weblog from the United Kingdom about culture and technology”. You’ll agree that this, while basically accurate, is about as vague as its possible to be on subject matter. It does nothing to capture what the author regularly publishes nor, more importantly, what the visitors come to read.

Of late, I’ve been writing at length about my faulty brain; not exactly a cultural nor technological subject. Quite a fair few people came to read about it too, mainly because they’d been pointed to it by someone else. But what about the casual visitor? The ones that come here following a search on Google and the like? As it turns out, they care very little for my faulty brain. They also don’t care much for culture and technology. By far the most popular search term is “things to do on a train”, which guides them to a highly facetious post I wrote more than seven years ago.

Back then, it wasn’t so easy to post to your weblog on the move, but I’d developed a way involving my own CMS, a Palm Pilot (with sexy folding keyboard) and a mobile phone that allowed me to recover some of the time I was spending on trains (over two hours a day). All that was left to do was think of something to write about. As I looked up and down the carriage, I realised that inspiration was sitting all around me: a rush-hour train out of London packed to the rafters with irritating people. This was a time long before publishing weblog posts as lists was commonplace – I simply observed annoying things going on around me, arranged them in order of irritation caused.

It has occurred to me, however, that those arriving at this post via Google are going to be disappointed by what they find. Whereas they turned up looking for something to fill a tedious journey, what they find is me whinging about how bloody awful people are. So, let’s leave culture, technology and faulty brains to one side for a moment, and give the masses what they want. Following a bit of research, may I present (slightly) more appropriate lists of suggestions of things to do on a train.

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When product images go bad

Posted
29 November 2006 at 15:44
Comments
2
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Study this item on Amazon. Moleskine products are quite desirable amongst writers and the like, I believe.

Now take a look at the product image. Look closely.

An HTTP status code tragedy

Posted
12 October 2004 at 02:30
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Not new, but no less worthy: The Cruelty Of Love (a tragedy in HTTP status codes).

And one was assaulted… peanut

Posted
4 October 2002 at 07:33
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Apparently, the world’s funniest joke as been revealed. Maybe we should drop it on Iraq, hey Tony?

Who are you?

Posted
16 September 2002 at 08:51
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Do you know this girl?

Steal my ideas

Posted
2 August 2002 at 09:55
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About four years ago, I had this idea to start two sister sites called “Great Website, Crap Product” and “Great Product, Crap Website” which would highlight sites that fell into either of these categories. I then thought about two more sites: “Great Website, Great Product” and, predictably, “Crap Website, Crap Product”. Never got past the idea stage, and never likely to either. Feel free to pinch it and make a million.

BOFH

Posted
22 May 2001 at 08:04
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I have a copy of the Bastard Operator From Hell on my Palm, that helpfully generates excuses as to why things aren’t happening in the way they are expected so to do. I’ve often wondered how the BOFH came to be, and now I know. You can’t escape the irony of it being on the NTK server. Also, I’ve dug up a comprehensive list of the BOFH responses—some of which did not make it onto the Palm.

Face-off

Posted
18 January 2001 at 18:55
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If, like me, you’re growing tired of StorTroopers, you may enjoy the Face Generator. Marcia provides us with the opportunity to reap revenge on the cute little cartoons. Also, Dave-o would like to point you in the direction of the Ape-licator. Now let’s stop all this cute nonsense and get back to work.

Free as in hopeless

Posted
3 January 2001 at 10:17
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Despite my best efforts, I did not manage to get arrested last night.

Bust

Posted
2 January 2001 at 19:39
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You shouldn’t laugh—the BBC reports on the sheep that turned. Also, there should be a new section of F*cked Company that caters for people like letsbuyit.com—why not call it ’Am I Going Bust Or Not?’. I have trouble understanding stories such as these. When I went out to found a dot com (not this one), the bank said ’where’s your business model?’. I showed them the business model, and they told me to get lost. I then made a few minor alterations and went to another bank, who also said ’where’s your business model?’. It took seven redrafts for them to be as confident as I was with the idea, and only then would they show me the money. Was it only me that was queried like this? Do the investors not check business models for everybody? I never went bust…

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