Me: “Hello, I’d like a Mac please.”
Them: “Sure! No problem! MacBook Pro, is it?”
Me: “That’ll do nicely. Here’s my credit card.”
Them: “Great! Super! We’ll post it to you!”
(a pause)
Me: “Erm, weren’t you going to, like, post me a Mac?”
Them: “Oh, right! Sure! No problem!”
(a pause)
Them: “Hey! You can’t really have that Mac we promised. But! How’s about we send you an even better one we just invented?”
Me: “How kind.”
(a pause)
Me: “Erm, any chance of… erm…”
Them: “Sure! Yes! Absolutely!”
(a pause)
Them: “Got it yet?”
Me: “Err… no.”
Them: “Bummer!”
Someone else: “I got your Mac right here. Tomorrow?”
Me: “Wonderful.”
(a pause)
Me: “Doesn’t work.”
Them: “Doesn’t work?”
Me: “Kernel panics on startup. Kernel panics on reinstall. Doesn’t charge. Oh, and two dead pixels.”
Them: “Bummer! That sucks ass! We’ll pick it up and put you down for another one.”
Me: “Okay, when will I see that?”
Them: “Erm… oooh…”
(a pause)