When writing for a site such as this, you have to consider that your thoughts have to be explained in some detail before the majority of your audience will understand them. At times, this can be limiting as some writing will lose impact once explained. Were I not aware of this, I would almost continually be using the phrase “I suppose you had to be there”. Today, as an experiment, I’ve decided not to write for the masses, and only publish content that is relevant to a very small number of identifiable individuals—as follows:
1. Five doors and thirty-seven steps.
2. Sainsbury’s Seville Orange Marmalade.
3. Blimey. That’s good.
4. The world is a big ball of string.
5. D’you know what she said? Richard’s got a new girlfriend—she’s fourteen!
6. Swindon.
7. You can’t sit there. You’re too tall, and your name’s not long enough.
8. Oh—no, it’s a pigeon.
9. What a load of f*cking shit. Buns and cakes all over the f*cking place! You’re all f*cking sacked.
10. Please sir, my auntie keeps pigs.