The future of computing is:

• more power
• KVM switches
• wet string

People who live in glass houses:

• are hopeless romantics
• make good tomato farmers
• are the single biggest cause of Attention Deficit Disorder in the south-east

Love and marriage go together like:

• a horse and glue
• ice-cream and the pavement
• coal and suet

The best cure for rising damp is:

• stilettos
• renting the flat upstairs
• rain

Give me somewhere to stand and I shall:

• move the earth
• become a fire-hazard
• ask directions from there

Data collected from surveys is often inconclusive and manipulatable to suit a predetermined agenda because:

• don’t know
• no preference
• not applicable

If you’re happy and you know it:

• clap your hands
• stamp your feet
• then you’re missing the point

Given three choices, the best thing to do is:

• answer honestly
• pick the silly one
• abstain from voting