“What’s going on here?”
“What?”
“Have you forgotten to plug in the aerial or something?”
“No… it’s there… what’s up?”
“I can only find five channels—three of which are very weak.”
“Great!”
“Where the hell do you live, sunshine—down a coal mine?”
“No—this is Great Britain. We have five terrestrial television channels.”
“You’re kidding me.”
“Nope.”
“D’you want me to look for some channels for mainland Europe or something?”
“Nah—it’s fine. You won’t find anything else out there.”
“So what was the point of investing in a TV card for your computer then?”
“So I can watch telly and stuff.”
“Yeah, but for five channels? Was it really worth it? Where I come from, we have hundreds of channels…”
“Just get on with it, will you?”
“Okay, d’you wanna reboot now or later?”
“Now.”
“Okey dokey.”
[pop]
Yearly Archives: 2001
Tying the knot
At Comdex this year, I believe it was Mr Gates himself who conceded that the PC platform was, for want of a better word, hopeless. Of course, from his point of view, he’s interested in dominating the whole market—software and hardware. But, on days like today, I’m inclined to agree that it’s a good idea.
Mac Purists are constantly reminding us that Macs are far more stable and better and prettier and so forth. I guess this is a prime example of how a tight relationship between those who build the boxes and those who code for them can benefit the user. As I sit here once again reinstalling the operating system on box number one, I’m quite happy for Mr Gates and his merry men to conquer the hardware market. At least then they won’t have any more excuses.
At the newsagent
“Hello, you’re Tony Blackburn, aren’t you?”
“That’s right: I am indeed. I’m sorry, I don’t know who you are.”
“My name is Mo.”
“Hello Mo. I’m surprised you recognised me.”
I observed his electric blue shell suit, luminous yellow woollen hat and jogging trainers, and shared his surprise. I also decided that, in future, it would be better not to go down the newsagent on a Sunday.
Infamy, infamy
People continue to sream by on their way to the Studios to pay their respects. It’s only at times like this when you realise what a massive impact The Beatles (and others like them) had on society. It reminds me of when I lived in Putney—the tree where Mark Bolan fatally crashed his car is still plastered with fresh flowers, nearly two decades later.
George
The passing of George Harrison is saddening indeed. As I walked home past the infamous pedestrian crossing outside Abbey Road Studios, literally hundreds of fans had gathered to lay flowers, light candles and generally pay their respects. In addition to this, the entire area was swarming with film crews—the street was lined on both sides by big white vans with satellite dishes on top.
Laundery
“Freecollecdelivecleanilaundry!”
“Sorry?”
“Freecollecdelivecleanilaundry!”
“Yes, I know what you said—what did you mean?”
“Free collection…”
“Yes…”
“And delivery…”
“Yes…”
“Of your dry cleaning…”
“Yes…”
“And laundry.”
“Oh. Right.”
“Would you like a leaflet?”
“Err, no. Thanks.”
Disinformation
I’m currently reading You Are Being Lied To, which is proving to be very interesting. While a lot of its content is written my Americans (ant therefore revolves around America), there are still interesting ideas and plenty of free thinking. My only problem with the book is its sheer size—it’s a paving slab of a read, and is beginning to have an adverse effect on my posture. Still, if you can tolerate this, it is definitely worth the investment.
Branded
On the subject of television, BBC2 will be rebranded ever so slightly in the name of “contemporary evolution” as of next Monday. Now, I’m not one who is afraid of change—but I am wary of contemporary evolution. It’s only recently that the design of the BBC site was completely overhauled—they now insist on referring to it as BBCi. Whatever the hell that’s supposed to imply. Incidentally, I notice that the corporation has ended its love affair with the term “forward slash”, and announcers are now spared the task of using the term where the rest of us settle for “slash”.